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100,000 Fireflies {shed light on the Home Team}

We spent a pretty amazing weekend camping in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, where we watched this totally insane natural phenomena of synchronized fireflies.  Thousands of fireflies (which led to this song running through my head all weekend) descended on this valley in the old town of Elkmont, and illuminated the valley.  It was mesmerizing, but not as enjoyable as it was for me to spend so much quality time with my family.

I feel like we have been rushing to and fro for the past few months - so being out in the woods, with little more than a tent, and each others' company - was good for my soul.  The slower pace (and the fact that I was able to take a 45 minute nap in a hammock) also gave me time to reflect on our family - and where we are right now.

Our boys have grown up to reach a point where they require less supervision.  Many times, they simply want us to get out of the way, so that they can just play with their friends.  And for many years, we have hoped for this time in our lives - when the kids can play happily, while we can take time to engage in our own pursuits.

 But coming upon this realization this weekend mostly made me sad.  The kids still want to be with me almost all of the time - which is great, because I genuinely think they are such cool people.  But I am (sort of ) having to relearn how to use my personal time, while they are otherwise engaged.

This is a cool problem to have, but is taking me some time to wrap my head around it all.

When I am a good father and/or husband - it is because of the other three members of my family.  They each play such important roles in my life, and we all contribute unique gifts to the family.  At the risk of overusing a sports analogy - we are a TEAM.  We all bring different gifts and weaknesses to the table - and we try to bring out the best in each other.

And being a part of this team is the most important thing I have ever done in my life.  The weight of that importance can sometimes make me too emotional about it.  I can sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture.  So now that the team dynamic is changing - due to the kids' growth  - it is making me feel nervous about what the team will look like in the coming years. Will my role change?

Of course my role will change, and I will have to be a nimble father and husband - because that is where the growth (and the awesomeness) occurs in life.  So in my better moments throughout this weekend in the Smokies - I embraced the moments of beauty - and now find myself getting excited about what comes next for our team.

I guess sometimes I just need a walk in the woods.....



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