At time I have come across the question of what kid of advice I would give to my younger self. For years, I have given it a bit of thought - though not much. But recently, the question came across my radar again, and I immediately knew the answer: I would tell my younger self...
I have spent most of my life finding joy and adventure with people that I love. I have felt so loved by so many people, and I continue to love people with such depth. I know how lucky I am. And yet I spent many of my years afraid of losing it. And yet, I know that I will lose it all - and I now know that it will be okay. I wrote about the concept of Fear is a Liar not too along, and I guess this post is a kind of extension of that concept.
I have recently read the books The Four Agreements and Dance of Days (Two Decades of Punk in the Nation's Capital). Though at face value, these two books have very little in common - upon closer reading they share a common belief: Everything is fleeting. So we have to drink deep to find what we truly believe in. And in that, there is always hope.
I was exposed to the punk rock ethos through several friends starting when I was 13, and I immediately gravitated to it. I loved the idea that you made music for something bigger than you. That you believed in something so much that you fought for it. And that if anything stood in the way, you found a way through, or around it. I also liked the power chords and skateboarding :)
The punk scene in DC was particularly inspirational to me in high school. The strict, purist beliefs of bands like Fugazi spoke to me, and helped provide me a code. It was beautiful, but at times it made me uncompromising, judgmental, and distrustful of everyone and everything. I believed in things so much that I became quick to dismiss other's ideas. In reality, I was just scared to lose my joy. And so I wanted to control, because I couldn't trust. It wasn't until later in life (and still now) that I began to learn that vulnerability and trust is what truly builds the most beautiful relationships. And from that deep well, one's code becomes more clear than any other external source could ever provide.
So now I know that there is no reason to be afraid. And everything will be okay. And to stay hopeful. So, if there actually exist some weird time turner of DeLorean that can go back through time, I hope my younger self is listening, and can more quickly let go of his fears, and trust in hope.
Do not be afraid.
Everything will be okay.
Stay Hopeful.
I have spent most of my life finding joy and adventure with people that I love. I have felt so loved by so many people, and I continue to love people with such depth. I know how lucky I am. And yet I spent many of my years afraid of losing it. And yet, I know that I will lose it all - and I now know that it will be okay. I wrote about the concept of Fear is a Liar not too along, and I guess this post is a kind of extension of that concept.
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| 17 year old me, in Paris. I'm talking to you, dude! |
I have recently read the books The Four Agreements and Dance of Days (Two Decades of Punk in the Nation's Capital). Though at face value, these two books have very little in common - upon closer reading they share a common belief: Everything is fleeting. So we have to drink deep to find what we truly believe in. And in that, there is always hope.
I was exposed to the punk rock ethos through several friends starting when I was 13, and I immediately gravitated to it. I loved the idea that you made music for something bigger than you. That you believed in something so much that you fought for it. And that if anything stood in the way, you found a way through, or around it. I also liked the power chords and skateboarding :)
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| 16 year old me, with my high school punk band Filling In For Zippy |
The punk scene in DC was particularly inspirational to me in high school. The strict, purist beliefs of bands like Fugazi spoke to me, and helped provide me a code. It was beautiful, but at times it made me uncompromising, judgmental, and distrustful of everyone and everything. I believed in things so much that I became quick to dismiss other's ideas. In reality, I was just scared to lose my joy. And so I wanted to control, because I couldn't trust. It wasn't until later in life (and still now) that I began to learn that vulnerability and trust is what truly builds the most beautiful relationships. And from that deep well, one's code becomes more clear than any other external source could ever provide.
So now I know that there is no reason to be afraid. And everything will be okay. And to stay hopeful. So, if there actually exist some weird time turner of DeLorean that can go back through time, I hope my younger self is listening, and can more quickly let go of his fears, and trust in hope.
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