We all experienced this to some extent, but for the kids and teenagers, I think it was worse. They simply do not have the agency to take control of most aspects of their lives. Without a bank account, a drivers license, or a credit card - they have had to exist on the whims and schedules of others. It took a serious toll on them from May through June especially, as they truly settled in to the reality of a cancelled life for a bit.
But this January was the hardest on them. It was clear that the vaccines were here, they were working, and they were actively being distributed to older people. Hope was here. It was only a matter of time until their lives were back to normal once again. Except, the Christmas holiday brought a massive surge in cases and deaths and school once again completely closed for over two months. Once this reality hit, both of our kids just got....down. And this has weighed heavily on me for several months.
Jessica and I have been in it with them as much as possible of course, talking with each of them and calling in folks for any help that is needed to get them through this. I have learned that when I am feeling anxiety about things, I tend to look for some action to take, to make plans in order to chase away the feels (enneagram 7 stuff!). Sometimes, that is a good trait for our family, as it can help us get out of ruts and find joy. But other times, it just complicates things and adds chaos to a situation that may require a bit more delicate handling (of which Jessica is certainly most suited for).
So, I have had to grow into this reality over the last few months, attempting to carry my worries with a bit more grace, as I hold on to my natural optimism and near constant desire to find adventure. Like most folks these days, I am hopeful that much of what our kids are experiencing is unique to this situation. And that, as this pandemic fades our children will regain much of what they lost - both in terms of practical activities and their general mental health. Jessica and I were vaccinated last month, and most adults in our orbit are as well. School is as fully back to normal as possible this year, and Noah is running track for the High School, the season started fully this week. He has recently learned how much he likes to run and work out, and how energized it makes him feel. ( I feel the same way!). Running track with many of his friends has been a great fit for him. Avery is also much happier being back at school with his friends, and is almost finished with classic soccer (which is timely). This has been a pretty good week, and day to day remains the key.
The top photo above is from a restaurant in Dallas, Texas - where we stayed for a night last week. Jessica took this picture in one of the (actually many) moments that the boys were relaxed and enjoying themselves together. They were both happy and enjoying our adventure (we had just seen the site of the JFK assassination and it provided so much rich dinner conversation). That moment, and others have helped me realize that we are coming out of this long winter, and I believe that we will all be better for having lived through it. I am proud of our kids, and I hope that I have been able to give what they need through a year of losses.
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