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A little book reporting...

Jessica is finally writing!

So, I've been trying to decide what to add to this little blog...what tidbit from my daily life to write about. My amazingly independent baby boy...my charming husband...our quaint little semi-punk-rock life style?? And then I realized that the thing I like so much about this blog idea, is the simple notion of tossing out whatever happens to be on my mind that day...whatever thoughts are floating around in that nutty cranium of mine. And so, without further analyzing (which is tough for me!) here ya go...

I've been raving like a lunatic about this book I just finished, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's basically a non-fiction account of the authors travels through Italy, India and Bali, as she looks deeper at herself, her desires, and her spirituality. Here's the excerpt that's been running through my mind:

"My thoughts turn to something I read once, something the Zen Buddhists believe. They say that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well-- the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being , drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. In this respect, says the Zens, it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born. I think about the woman I have become lately, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life..."

And so I feel it is with me these fine days. I look around me, at the tall green trees blowing with the breeze on our street, at the giggling monster-laughs of Noah and Ben wrestling, at the hopeful and cynical smirks of those crazy adolescents I work with and adore...and this is exactly who I have wanted to become. These surroundings mirror all I am, and all I love. I have also been letting those thoughts repeat like a mantra in my mind when I find myself consumed with road rage, or annoyed by petty misunderstandings. Who is this future-Jessica that I have envisioned...what kind of person is she...who does she want to be on a daily basis?

Kind. Gracious. Empathic. Able to delight in simple joys.

As the Buddha said, "Make of yourself a light." And as cheesy as it may sound, this is how I feel lately. Glowing with possibility and gratitude. Present. Thankful to be here, now. Surrounded by those I love and beckoning summer adventures.

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