When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.
- Viktor E. Frankl
It’s been a tough week. We all three started school a few weeks ago, which is exciting. But as Noah is entering 8th grade (last year of Middle School), and Avery is starting a new school (intermediate) - Y'all - there HAVE BEEN SOME NERVES.
And like life tends to go, sometimes things don't bounce our way. From school, to soccer selections, to play auditions - our kids don't always get exactly what they want. And this last week, each of our kids have just had to deal with disappointment. Things have simply not gone the way that they hoped, and they have had to take it on the chin. And I know intellectually that is as it should be. I know that these setbacks build resilience. But...
My parent heart usually just wants to fix it up for them. This conflict is real.
- Viktor E. Frankl
It’s been a tough week. We all three started school a few weeks ago, which is exciting. But as Noah is entering 8th grade (last year of Middle School), and Avery is starting a new school (intermediate) - Y'all - there HAVE BEEN SOME NERVES.
And like life tends to go, sometimes things don't bounce our way. From school, to soccer selections, to play auditions - our kids don't always get exactly what they want. And this last week, each of our kids have just had to deal with disappointment. Things have simply not gone the way that they hoped, and they have had to take it on the chin. And I know intellectually that is as it should be. I know that these setbacks build resilience. But...
My parent heart usually just wants to fix it up for them. This conflict is real.
As a parent, these are some of the more challenging things to deal with. We want our kids to find success and happiness, but know they must build resilience. We know they must grow. That is, in the end, our job. Give them roots and wings, they say. And we are trying.
As a kid, I so rarely faced setbacks. Not because of my own skill, or noteworthy talents - but because I just rarely volunteered for a scenario wherein I anticipated a failure. This was true of my sports, relationships, school, etc. If I felt as though I may lose something - I often found a way around it. If I couldn't find the shortcut, I would just cut and run.
But there are no shortcuts in this thing. You are better off just going right through - often the long way. And it usually requires changing ourselves.
These habits ill prepared me for my adult life. I have had to muddle through failures and disappointments., while learning the skill of resilience in the process. I often lament the fact that I failed to learn these lessons at an earlier age.
So, I know that this is their time to grow. And I know that they are finding their wings right now. And to do that, they must face setbacks. Because there simply are no shortcuts. They will be okay.
As a kid, I so rarely faced setbacks. Not because of my own skill, or noteworthy talents - but because I just rarely volunteered for a scenario wherein I anticipated a failure. This was true of my sports, relationships, school, etc. If I felt as though I may lose something - I often found a way around it. If I couldn't find the shortcut, I would just cut and run.
But there are no shortcuts in this thing. You are better off just going right through - often the long way. And it usually requires changing ourselves.
These habits ill prepared me for my adult life. I have had to muddle through failures and disappointments., while learning the skill of resilience in the process. I often lament the fact that I failed to learn these lessons at an earlier age.
So, I know that this is their time to grow. And I know that they are finding their wings right now. And to do that, they must face setbacks. Because there simply are no shortcuts. They will be okay.
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