Skip to main content

No Shortcuts

When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.
 - Viktor E. Frankl

It’s been a tough week. We all three started school a few weeks ago, which is exciting.  But as Noah is entering 8th grade (last year of Middle School), and Avery is starting a new school (intermediate) - Y'all - there HAVE BEEN SOME NERVES. 

And like life tends to go, sometimes things don't bounce our way.  From school, to soccer selections, to play auditions - our kids don't always get exactly what they want.  And this last week, each of our kids have just had to deal with disappointment. Things have simply not gone the way that they hoped, and they have had to take it on the chin. And I know intellectually that is as it should be.  I know that these setbacks build resilience.  But...

My parent heart usually just wants to fix it up for them.  This conflict is real. 
As a parent, these are some of the more challenging things to deal with. We want our kids to find success and happiness, but know they must build resilience. We know they must grow.  That is, in the end, our job.  Give them roots and wings, they say.  And we are trying. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=173mPRrwOUv4u0C9NAuIDvLME_wD6-bQD

As a kid, I so rarely faced setbacks.  Not because of my own skill, or noteworthy talents - but because I just rarely volunteered for a scenario wherein I anticipated a failure.  This was true of my sports, relationships, school, etc.  If I felt as though I may lose something - I often found a way around it.  If I couldn't find the shortcut,  I would just cut and run.  

But there are no shortcuts in this thing.  You are better off just going right through - often the long way.  And it usually requires changing ourselves.


These habits ill prepared me for my adult life. I have had to muddle through failures and disappointments., while learning the skill of resilience in the process.  I often lament the fact that I failed to learn these lessons at an earlier age.   

So, I know that this is their time to grow.  And I know that they are finding their wings right now.  And to do that, they must face setbacks. Because there simply are no shortcuts.  They will be okay.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Burrito Bracket

Eating a ginormous burrito at El Farolito in San Francisco, 2004 I LOVE burritos.  It is a passion that I share with my brother, and we actively seek out a quality burrito in almost every place we visit (Jessica is more of a Fish Taco kind of gal, but she enjoys burritos as well).  My love affair began around the age of 18, in the parking lots of Phish shows - where I could find any number of amazing burritos, cooked up on a dirty Coleman stove.  I just loved the explosion of flavor (and surprise) that came with each burrito I ate in those years. One of the the first times I visited Asheville for a few days in college, I came across Rio Burrito, a now defunct burrito-specific shop on Biltmore Avenue.  I went there all the time, and got to know all the nice folk who worked there.  So, I was quite disappointed when they shut it down - so much so that I wrote about it here.   But when Mamacitas opened in downtown Asheville in Spring 2004, I was smitten...

Best of 2024

Ben Graham's 2024 Mixtape (The Best Songs of {mostly} 2024) Can You See Me Tonight  - Good Looks Misses - Domnic Fike Birdseed  - Merce Lemon Right Back to it - Waxahatchee Alien - Dehd When I Learned Your Name - Daniel Romano Away From the Castle  - Video Age One Bad Day - Spacey Jane That's What Time Does - Oso Oso Never Meant - Iron and Wine Big Blue - Hovvdy Deeper Well - Kacey Musgraves Where Were You - Tyler Ramsey Waiting and Waiting - Bonny Light Horseman She's Leaving You - MJ Lenderman Sexy to Someone - Clairo Stained Glass Window - Sunday 1994 Flowers - Real Estate Taste  - Sabrina Carpenter Run Your Mouth - Marias All I Ever Wanted  - Ivy LUNCH - Billie Eilish That's How I'm Feeling - Jack White Jerkin - Amyl & The Sniffers Burning (Live...Again) - War in Drugs Top Albums of 2024: Lived Here For a While  by Good Looks Poetry  by Dehd Watch Me Drive Them Dogs Wild  by Merce Lemon Tigers Blood  - Waxahatchee To...

Im 30....seriously.

I am turning 30 today. So in the spirit of reflecting on these first 30 years of living, I am starting this blog. So, to begin - I shall update my status in life (this sounds complicated, so I will just try this in "list form."): Noah = greatest thing that ever happened to me. having a child was like an act of god, immediatly enacting a revolution on my perspective. Everyone tells you that " it is going to change everything." But I think I internalized that in a way that seemed to say ... things outside of me would change ie: schedules, sleeping, finaces, etc. Those things do change. But I did not accept that it would be ME that would go through the most profound changes. What I mean is, that the world itself has not shifted, but my view of that world (like Picasso in his Cubist period) has been transformed. It has been a traumatic shift for me, but in a beautiful way. Stop everything. "Icky Thump" by the White Stripes just came on the ipod. Sweet Jesus t...