Skip to main content

Change Ourselves.

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves" - V. Frankl

 Having children changed everything about me.  The reasons why are infinite in nature, but at its core it is embodied by the above quotation.  My children walk around holding my heart, spirit, reputation, and beliefs everyday.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, in my life prepared me for that level of vulnerability.  And once they came into my life, I was challenged to change myself.  

You see, my day to day routine in life had to shift.  Simply, I was unable to continue on my current path.  The babies had to be fed.  They could not be left alone.  etc.  Either I had to ignore my children and continue on unimpeded, or I had to change my schedule - which translates into changing my priorities.  And changing my priorities forced me to take an honest look at what I believe.
What is the end goal? 
What is essential for my personal growth?  
What can be discarded from my life?  

 These uninhibited questions, and the honest assessment that followed surprised me. I did not truly know what I valued the most, until I was "no longer able to change a situation." So, in many ways, I have yet to recover from this, or even come to an understanding of the profound impact that becoming a father has had on me - I am living into the answer, and try to reflect on it often.

 If nothing else, fatherhood has humbled me.  It has taught me to continuously face my own limitations, of which there are many - and attempt to teach my children methods to escape the major pitfalls into which I have sometimes fallen.  You have to be nimble in this game, ya know.  So it is my deepest hope that my willingness to change, grow, and make hard choices will sharpen my focus and help me to become the best person I can be. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Im 30....seriously.

I am turning 30 today. So in the spirit of reflecting on these first 30 years of living, I am starting this blog. So, to begin - I shall update my status in life (this sounds complicated, so I will just try this in "list form."): Noah = greatest thing that ever happened to me. having a child was like an act of god, immediatly enacting a revolution on my perspective. Everyone tells you that " it is going to change everything." But I think I internalized that in a way that seemed to say ... things outside of me would change ie: schedules, sleeping, finaces, etc. Those things do change. But I did not accept that it would be ME that would go through the most profound changes. What I mean is, that the world itself has not shifted, but my view of that world (like Picasso in his Cubist period) has been transformed. It has been a traumatic shift for me, but in a beautiful way. Stop everything. "Icky Thump" by the White Stripes just came on the ipod. Sweet Jesus t...
1 comment
Read more

What is Noah doing these days?

What is Noah is doing these days? 1. Noah is obsessed with water. (By "water" - I mean it's properties, temperature, drinkability, etc.) He has always loved to drink water - even more than milk, juice, or whiskey (just kidding!). Anyways, as the weather has warmed he is enjoying the garden hose, creeks, sprinkler, pool, and the sink. Basically, playing in the water is all that he wants to do. Thus, he starts swimming lessons in two weeks. 2. Noah LOVES to be outdoors. He refers to the outdoors as "Bubbles." Though we used to blow bubbles often outside, this is not a daily activity. But Noah insists that the outside is "Bubbles." He also enjoys going on hikes in Daddy's backpack - especially if there is a stream involved. (see above obsession.) 3. Noah now recognizes the following Star Wars characters, machines, droids, etc: Darth Vader, Yoda, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, X-Wing Fighter, Chewbacca, and a TIE Fighter. I am a little bit excited about t...
1 comment
Read more

Ben's May 24 Playlist

1. Grand Champeen (see the side photo - even it rocks) - "Dial T For This" Okay, Grand Champeen is my favorite band these days. Jessica, Jason B, and I saw them in Charlotte a few years ago and it still ranks as one of the the most amazing rock shows I have ever seen. This new album is the next level. They make albums like their life depends on it. 2. Portastatic - "Be Still Please" I will always have a soft spot for Merge records, and anything relating to Superchunk. 3. Wilco - "Sky Blue Sky" - This new Wilco album is an enjoyable listen. I am liking it much more than "A Ghost is Born." Even though I heard that a reviewer called it "the best album the Eagles never made..." What? Put down the Crack. 4. The Hives "Your New Favourite Band" - No one rocks harder than the Hives...no one. I think it is because they are Swedish. When your home country is known most for Volvo, ABBA, and losing the Great Northern Wa...
2 comments
Read more