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My Kids Gave Me Life.

In the 2011 documentary, The Other F Word, Flea (the great bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers) discussed the joys of being a father by saying "It’s funny how you always hear people saying that classic parent attitude of, ‘I brought you into this world, I gave you life!’ You know, it’s just, I think, completely the opposite. My kids gave me life. They gave me a reason.”

For many years I have tried to give voice to the idea that the birth of my children is what truly gave me reason and life - and I have always failed.  But when I watched Flea say these words to the camera, I was unable to stop the flow of tears.  He nailed it.  And I did not see it coming.  Flea's ability to best give voice to my innermost beliefs was surprising.  But so be it.  He said the words that explained my experience in this world.  Before my beautiful children came into my life, I feel in love with Jessica, and loved deeply, and lived life with spirit.  For that, I am grateful.

But I did not have real life.  I did not live with true reason.  Becoming a father gave me a new name.  And it's funny really, because nothing about my daily life changed dramatically.  Like before - I still love music, running, playing outside, eating cotton candy, and reading books.  But everything I do is through the prism of a new and overwhelming love.  I am a totally new human being because of fatherhood. It is the single greatest gift of my life, and the most sacred.

Nowadays I wonder openly what other experiences will change me so dramatically, if any.  Am I living through a process of radical personal change as we speak?  I hope that as I grow, I am able to allow myself to be touched by the divine, and changed.  I hope that I can live up to the beauty that I have been given in this life.


Comments

spike said…
Ben, this resonates with me so much. My children are my muse. They make life sparkle. Ain't it grand?
January 25, 2014 at 2:17 PM
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